So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
