Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
