I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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