please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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