he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
