Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
