We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
