So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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