We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This is the high leading the old right now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize