i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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