You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
