ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
