question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
