Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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