just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
