So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
