Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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