Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
