Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
