neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
