Whod you bang
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
