You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
