I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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