we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
