Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
