I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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