i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
