hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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