I just made out with a guy for $7.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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