Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
