i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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