you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so explain again why im purple
no
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize