a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
