Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have fence marks all over my body
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