the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
