I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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