Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
