billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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