all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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