I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
