I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
