i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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