I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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