made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
