can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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