This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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