I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
