well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
