you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
