Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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