Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
