Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
