"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm always down for nudity.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
