Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
