Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
