beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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