I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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