i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
