chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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