Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
