i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I touched a dick in church today
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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